Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally draining, especially when it comes to communication.
One of the most confusing parts of dealing with a narcissist is interpreting the texts they send you.
On the surface, they may seem like normal, everyday messages, but narcissists often use texting as a tool for manipulation, control, or self-validation.
If you’ve ever found yourself staring at a message from a narcissist and wondering what it really means, you’re not alone.
In this article, we’ll explore the typical types of texts you might receive from a narcissist, and more importantly, how to respond to them in a healthy and effective way.
By understanding the common tactics narcissists use in their texts, you’ll be better equipped to protect your emotional well-being and set boundaries.
The Grandiose Text: “I’m the Best at Everything”
A narcissist often uses texts to reinforce their sense of superiority and inflate their own ego.
One of the most common types of texts you might receive is the grandiose text, where the narcissist proclaims that they are the best at everything.
These texts can be over-the-top and boastful, designed to make the narcissist feel admired and to keep you in a position of submission.
For example, you might get a text that says, “I’m the best at everything I do. No one can do it like me,” or “You’re lucky to be with someone as amazing as me.”
This type of message serves multiple purposes.
First, it’s a form of self-validation for the narcissist.
They need constant reinforcement of their superiority, and sending messages like this helps them maintain their inflated sense of self-worth.
Second, it’s a way to manipulate you.
By constantly telling you that they are superior, the narcissist is trying to keep you in a position where you feel like you owe them admiration and respect.
These texts can make you feel like you’re not good enough or that you need to constantly praise and support the narcissist in return.
So, how should you respond to this type of text?
It’s important to recognize that the narcissist is seeking validation and admiration.
Instead of feeding into their need for constant praise, it’s best to keep your response neutral or avoid engaging in their grandiose statements.
For example, you might respond with something like, “I’m glad you’re confident,” or simply choose not to reply at all.
Engaging with their grandiose text by offering praise or playing into their ego can make the situation worse and lead to further manipulation.
Instead, focus on maintaining healthy boundaries and not allowing their need for validation to affect your self-worth.
You don’t need to match their inflated sense of self or agree with their boastful statements.
Recognizing their need for validation allows you to detach emotionally from the situation and avoid getting caught up in their constant desire for attention and admiration.
The Silent Treatment: “No Response” or “You Don’t Deserve a Reply”
One of the most hurtful and manipulative tactics a narcissist will use is the silent treatment.
This is when the narcissist completely ignores you, refusing to reply to your texts or communication.
You might find yourself wondering why they haven’t responded, especially if you’ve done nothing wrong or if the conversation was going well.
The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse.
It’s used by narcissists to punish their partner, to make you feel insignificant, and to regain control of the situation.
It’s a way for them to get attention, make you chase them, and show you who holds the power in the relationship.
For example, after a small disagreement or even when they feel like you’re not giving them enough attention, they may send a message like, “I’m not replying because you don’t deserve a response” or simply ignore your messages altogether.
This tactic is meant to create confusion, frustration, and anxiety in you.
Narcissists often believe that by withholding their attention or affection, they can control your emotions and make you crave their approval.
The silent treatment can also be used as a form of punishment.
If you’ve upset the narcissist in some way—whether by challenging their behavior, standing up for yourself, or simply not catering to their needs—they might withdraw entirely as a way of showing their displeasure.
It’s important to remember that the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic, not a sign of love or care.
So, how should you respond to this?
The best approach is to not chase after them.
Instead of texting them more, sending multiple messages, or apologizing when you’ve done nothing wrong, give them space.
The narcissist may want you to beg for their attention, but by refusing to do so, you are refusing to engage in their power play.
If they continue to give you the silent treatment, take it as a sign that they are not treating you with respect and are using control tactics.
It’s important to maintain your dignity and refuse to beg for their attention.
Focus on your own well-being and self-respect, and remember that healthy relationships involve mutual communication and respect—not manipulation through silence.
Responding calmly and setting boundaries will help you avoid falling into their trap and allow you to preserve your emotional health.
The Blame Game: “This is Your Fault”
One of the most common texts you might get from a narcissist is when they play the blame game and try to make you feel like everything wrong in the relationship is your fault.
Even if the issue has nothing to do with you, the narcissist will often twist the situation and accuse you of causing the problem.
For example, you might receive a message that says, “This is all your fault,” or “If you hadn’t done this, none of this would have happened.”
The blame game is a manipulative tactic that narcissists use to deflect responsibility for their actions and put the blame on someone else, typically you.
This tactic is incredibly frustrating because it makes you question yourself and feel guilty for things that are not your responsibility.
In many cases, narcissists refuse to take accountability for their own behavior, and instead, they will try to control the narrative by making you feel like you’re the one who is always in the wrong.
The narcissist thrives on power and control, and by making you feel guilty or responsible for everything, they keep you in a state of emotional turmoil, where you are constantly trying to please them.
Their goal is to manipulate your emotions and keep you on edge, making you feel like you always have to apologize or fix things.
So, how should you respond to these types of texts?
The best way to handle the blame game is by not engaging with their accusations.
Instead of responding with a defensive message or apologizing when it’s not necessary, calmly acknowledge the situation and set clear boundaries.
For example, you could say, “I’m not going to accept responsibility for something that isn’t my fault,” or simply refrain from replying altogether.
Engaging with a narcissist in the blame game often only fuels their manipulation, so it’s important to protect your emotional well-being by not falling into the trap.
It’s also crucial to remember that you are not responsible for their actions or their emotions.
If they continue to play the blame game, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship and assess whether this emotional manipulation is something you should tolerate.
Setting firm boundaries and standing up for yourself will help you break free from the constant cycle of blame and guilt.
The Love Bombing: “I Miss You So Much, I Can’t Live Without You”
Love bombing is a manipulative tactic that narcissists use to gain control and affection from their target.
In the early stages of a relationship, or during a time when they want to regain your attention, they may send you an overwhelming amount of affection, compliments, and sweet texts.
For example, you might receive texts like, “I miss you so much, I can’t live without you,” or “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
At first, these messages can feel amazing and make you feel special.
However, love bombing is not about genuine affection—it’s about control.
A narcissist uses love bombing to create a sense of dependency in their partner.
They want you to feel like you’re the most important person in their world, so you become emotionally invested in the relationship.
But as soon as they feel you are hooked, they may withdraw affection and start to play mind games.
The love bombing phase can feel like a whirlwind romance, with endless declarations of love, constant texting, and attention.
But this is often followed by periods of emotional withdrawal or even mistreatment, leaving you confused about where you stand.
When a narcissist bombards you with love and attention, it can be difficult to tell whether they genuinely care or if they’re just using these tactics to manipulate you.
So, how should you respond to love bombing?
It’s important to recognize that love bombing is not a healthy or normal part of a relationship.
While it may feel flattering at first, it’s crucial to set emotional boundaries and not let these overwhelming gestures cloud your judgment.
If the love bombing feels intense or overwhelming, take a step back and assess the relationship.
You can respond politely but without getting overly involved.
For example, you could acknowledge their affection with something like, “Thank you, but I think we should take things slow,” or “I appreciate your words, but I think we need to have an open conversation about where we’re headed.”
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries when you’re being love bombed.
Healthy relationships require balance, and if you feel like the narcissist is using excessive affection to manipulate or control you, it’s time to reconsider the dynamic.
Ultimately, recognizing love bombing for what it is—manipulation—can help you protect yourself emotionally and prevent falling into a cycle of dependency and manipulation.
The Guilt Trip: “If You Really Loved Me, You’d Do This”
One of the most common tactics a narcissist uses to manipulate their partner is the guilt trip.
This is when they make you feel like you’re not doing enough or are somehow failing in the relationship.
The narcissist will try to make you feel guilty for not meeting their needs or desires by saying things like, “If you really loved me, you’d do this,” or “I can’t believe you don’t care enough to do this for me.”
The goal of the guilt trip is to pressure you into doing something you might not want to do or to make you feel inadequate.
It works by exploiting your emotions, especially your desire to be loved and appreciated.
A narcissist knows how to trigger feelings of guilt in order to get you to act in a way that benefits them.
They often use phrases that make you doubt your commitment or love for them, leaving you feeling like you’re not enough.
These texts are manipulative because they place the blame on you, even when you may not have done anything wrong.
It can be emotionally exhausting to deal with, especially if you’re someone who strives to please others or avoid conflict.
So, how should you respond to this type of manipulation?
The most important thing to remember is that a healthy relationship does not require guilt or pressure.
If someone truly loves and respects you, they won’t use guilt as a tool to get what they want.
You need to recognize that the guilt trip is an unhealthy tactic and that you are not obligated to fulfill unreasonable demands.
Instead of giving in to the guilt, take a step back and evaluate the situation.
A good response could be, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I don’t think it’s fair to guilt me into doing something.”
By responding calmly and confidently, you show that you’re aware of the manipulation and won’t tolerate it.
Setting firm boundaries is key when dealing with a narcissist, especially when they try to use guilt to control your actions or emotions.
Don’t let their manipulative tactics dictate how you feel or how you behave.
Trust yourself and your worth, and understand that a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and understanding, not guilt.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally taxing, especially when it comes to the mixed signals and manipulative texts they send.
Whether it’s grandiose claims, the silent treatment, or guilt-tripping, these tactics are designed to make you question yourself and your worth.
The best way to handle narcissistic behavior is by maintaining strong boundaries and protecting your emotional well-being.
Recognize manipulative tactics for what they are, and don’t let them control your actions or your feelings.
By standing up for yourself, responding calmly, and choosing not to engage in unhealthy behavior, you can protect yourself and preserve your sense of self-worth in the face of manipulation.
Healthy communication, trust, and respect should always be the foundation of any relationship—anything less should be questioned and addressed.