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To All Girls Drawn to Bad Boys: 8 Narcissistic Mind Games to Watch For

To All Girls Drawn to Bad Boys: 8 Narcissistic Mind Games to Watch For

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Ladies, we’ve all been there. Those bad boys with their magnetic charm and the thrill of the unpredictable. But beneath the surface, there are often dangerous games at play.

Here’s a piece of sisterly advice, from one alpha woman to another: beware of the narcissistic mind games. Being aware of them is your first step in navigating these treacherous waters.

1. They Always Play the Victim

Oh, the tales they weave! You’ll often find that these bad boys have a tragic backstory ready at their disposal. Every past relationship they’ve had? They were wronged. Every misstep in their life? Someone else’s fault. On the surface, they seem so vulnerable and misunderstood, but that’s precisely the card they want to play.

Now, don’t get me wrong. We all face hardships and challenges. But with these particular individuals, there’s a recurring pattern. Every story centers around them being the innocent party, perpetually wronged by the world. Why? Because it’s an easy way to gain sympathy and manipulate situations.

When you’re getting to know someone, it’s natural to feel compassion and want to comfort them. But with these “bad boys,” they will use their “victim card” as a defense mechanism. Did they forget to call? Oh, they had a traumatic flashback from a past event. Did they act thoughtlessly? Well, it’s because they’ve been so hurt before.

Remember, genuine pain and past traumas are valid, but using them as tools of manipulation is not. Over time, you’ll start to feel like you’re walking on eggshells, always trying not to upset their delicate balance. This strategy is a classic way to keep you hooked, always wanting to be their savior.

But let me tell you, from one strong woman to another: you can’t save someone who doesn’t truly want to be saved. And more importantly, it’s not your job to do so.

2. They Try to Make You Doubt Your Reality

Gaslighting is a term thrown around quite often these days, but let’s dig into what it really means. Have you ever been in a situation where a bad boy made you question your memory, perception, or even sanity? Where they subtly convinced you that your reality was flawed? Welcome to the gaslighting game.

Imagine you clearly remember them saying or doing something, and when you bring it up, they flat out deny it, insisting you’re mistaken. “That never happened,” they’ll say, or, “You’re remembering it wrong.” Over time, these small, insistent denials can truly make you doubt yourself. That’s the game.

The sinister beauty (if you can call it that) of gaslighting is its subtlety. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow and methodical process aimed at eroding your confidence and self-trust.

The motive? Control. If they can make you question yourself, they have the upper hand. It’s a deeply manipulative tactic, and honestly, it can leave some lasting scars.

3. They Tell You You’re Overreacting

Ah, this one. It’s as classic as they come, and it’s a personal “favorite” of mine. Picture this: they do something hurtful or inconsiderate, and when you rightfully express your feelings about it, you’re met with, “Why are you making such a big deal out of it?” or, “You’re overreacting.”

The purpose of this card is to invalidate your feelings. By making you feel like your reactions are disproportionate or irrational, they can shift the blame from their actions to your response. It’s a way of sidestepping responsibility and making you feel guilty for having feelings in the first place.

But here’s the thing: your feelings are valid. Every single one of them. Whether you’re upset, hurt, joyful, or confused, you have every right to feel the way you do. No one gets to decide the “appropriate” level of reaction for you.

So the next time a bad boy tells you you’re overreacting, take a deep breath and stand firm in your truth. Expressing your emotions and setting boundaries doesn’t make you overly emotional or irrational; it makes you human.

4. They Are Love Bombing You

Love bombing is one of those maneuvers that starts off feeling magical, almost too good to be true. And ladies, that’s because it often is. Suddenly, this bad boy showers you with attention, gifts, messages, and compliments. It feels like you’ve won the romance lottery.

But what’s the catch? Often, this surge of affection isn’t genuine. It’s an attempt to manipulate you, to pull you into their orbit. They want to make you feel special so that when they start pulling away or displaying negative behaviors, you’re left chasing that initial high, wondering what you did wrong to change their behavior.

It’s essential to understand the difference between genuine affection and love bombing. True love and care come with consistency and time. It’s not an overwhelming flood one day and a drought the next.

In my own experiences, and hearing tales from my fierce friends, it’s clear that when someone’s trying too hard, too fast, it’s often a red flag. It’s their way of fast-tracking intimacy and loyalty without genuinely earning it. Remember, trust and love are gardens that need time to grow. Don’t let someone rush your heart.

5. They Give You the Silent Treatment

I think we’ve all been on the receiving end of this one, haven’t we? Everything seems fine, and then out of nowhere, radio silence. No calls, no texts, no replies. It’s as if they’ve vanished off the face of the Earth.

But here’s the kicker: the silent treatment isn’t about needing space or time to think. It’s about control. It’s a passive-aggressive tactic used to make you anxious, to make you chase after them, to make you apologize or compromise even if you did nothing wrong.

The waiting game, the checking of your phone every five minutes, the constant overthinking of every interaction leading up to the silence—it’s exhausting, isn’t it? And that’s the point. It’s designed to wear you down, to make you feel in the wrong, to have you coming back begging for a morsel of their attention.

My advice? Don’t play into it. If someone truly cares, they’ll communicate. They’ll talk through issues instead of resorting to immature tactics. Hold your head high, know your worth, and never let someone manipulate your emotions through absence.

6. They Believe They’re Never Wrong

Ladies, have you ever found yourself in a situation where no matter how clear the facts are, no matter how undeniable the truth, he just never seems to admit his wrongs? Welcome to one of the classic narcissistic mind games. In their world, they’re never wrong.

It’s as if they have an allergic reaction to the words, “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong.” They’ll twist stories, deflect blame, or even outright deny things you both know happened. This isn’t just a matter of pride; it’s a tactic to keep you second-guessing yourself.

Here’s a personal tale: I once dated someone who, despite evidence to the contrary, would never admit his mistakes. It reached a point where I started doubting my own memories, my own perceptions. But that’s what he wanted. By never admitting fault, he was subtly controlling the narrative of our relationship.

Stay sharp and trust yourself. If you’re constantly being made to feel like the one at fault, it might be time to re-evaluate who you’re sharing your precious time with.

7. They Compare You to Everyone Else

This one stings, doesn’t it? Whether it’s comparing you to an ex, a friend, or even a celebrity, this tactic is designed to belittle and control. By highlighting perceived shortcomings or suggesting that others are better in some way, it plants a seed of doubt. You begin to think, “Maybe if I just changed this about myself, he’d be happier.”

Well, let me tell you something: You are unique. Your quirks, your passions, your looks, and your personality—these make you, you. And you are incredible just the way you are.

I remember a time when someone I was seeing compared my career aspirations to his ex’s. It hurt, but I soon realized it wasn’t about me. It was about him trying to exert control, to make me feel less than.

If someone feels the need to draw comparisons, it’s a reflection of their insecurities, not your inadequacies. Don’t ever let someone else’s hang-ups dictate your self-worth.

8. They Need Constant Praise

Ladies, a hallmark trait of many narcissists is their insatiable need for admiration. They crave compliments, praise, and validation like it’s oxygen. And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be appreciated, with narcissists, it’s often taken to the extreme.

I remember being with someone who needed constant affirmation. If I didn’t compliment his appearance, his ideas, or even his most mundane accomplishments, he’d sulk or seek validation elsewhere. It felt more like I was with a needy child than an adult partner.

But here’s the thing: relationships should be a two-way street. It’s about mutual appreciation, not one person constantly propping up the other’s ego. If you find yourself with someone who seems to have an unquenchable thirst for admiration, it can be draining. You deserve a partner who values you as much as they value themselves.

Never forget, genuine love isn’t about constant adulation. It’s about mutual respect, understanding, and valuing each other as equals. Always strive for a love that lifts both of you up, not just one.

Navigating the world of love and relationships can be challenging, especially when faced with these mind games. But remember, you are strong, smart, and deserving of authentic love. Know the signs, trust your gut, and always prioritize your own well-being.