The talking stage is exciting, full of possibilities, and often filled with endless late-night conversations, flirty texts, and the thrill of getting to know someone new.
But while everything might seem great on the surface, this stage is also where red flags tend to show up—if you’re paying attention.
Ignoring these early warning signs can lead to disappointment, heartbreak, or worse, getting stuck in a relationship that drains you emotionally.
That’s why it’s so important to recognize the signs of trouble before you invest too much of your time and energy.
Some red flags are obvious, like lying or constant cancellations, while others are more subtle, showing up in small ways that may not seem like a big deal at first.
However, these seemingly minor issues can quickly grow into much bigger problems down the road.
If something feels off in the talking stage, trust your gut.
Here are some major red flags to watch out for before getting too attached.
They’re Inconsistent with Communication
One of the first red flags to watch for in the talking stage is inconsistent communication.
At the beginning of getting to know someone, excitement should be high, and communication should feel natural and frequent.
If someone is truly interested, they won’t go days without texting back or randomly disappear without explanation.
Inconsistency often shows up in subtle ways.
They might text you a lot one day, making you feel like you’re the center of their world, only to vanish for the next few days without a word.
They may start conversations but fail to keep them going, leaving you to wonder whether they’re even paying attention to what you say.
Plans might be made, but they’re frequently canceled or rescheduled at the last minute.
Sometimes, they come across as warm and invested, yet other times, they act distant, making you feel like you’re chasing after their attention.
While it’s true that everyone has a busy life, a person who genuinely values you will make time, even in small ways.
A quick message, a call, or even an acknowledgment of their busy schedule is enough to show that you matter to them.
When communication feels unpredictable, it often means they’re either keeping their options open, unsure about their feelings, or not that serious about getting to know you.
You shouldn’t have to sit around wondering when you’ll hear from them next.
A relationship built on effort and consistency has a far better chance of growing into something meaningful.
If they’re already struggling with basic communication in the talking stage, chances are, it won’t improve down the road.
Don’t ignore the signs just because you enjoy the good moments—real consistency is never confusing.
They Avoid Defining the Relationship
The talking stage can be exciting, but at some point, it should be clear where things are heading.
If the person you’re talking to avoids defining the relationship, dodges conversations about exclusivity, or keeps things vague, it’s a major red flag.
You shouldn’t have to guess where you stand with someone who truly values you.
Someone who is serious about you will be clear about their intentions.
If every time you bring up the topic, they respond with something like, “Let’s just see where this goes” or “I don’t like labels,” they might be trying to keep their options open without committing to anything real.
This kind of avoidance can leave you in a state of emotional limbo, constantly wondering whether you’re on the same page or if they’ll ever take things seriously.
A person who is emotionally available and ready for a connection won’t shy away from discussing the future.
They won’t make you feel like you’re forcing the conversation or pressuring them into something they’re not ready for.
If they’re always dodging the subject, acting defensive, or changing the topic whenever you ask about what you mean to them, it’s likely because they want to keep things casual while still benefiting from your attention.
If defining the relationship is important to you, don’t settle for someone who makes you feel like you’re asking for too much.
When a person truly cares, they won’t make you question their intentions—they’ll make it clear that you’re someone they want in their life, without hesitation or excuses.
They Disrespect Your Boundaries
Boundaries are one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship.
If someone you’re talking to ignores or dismisses your boundaries early on, that’s a serious red flag.
The talking stage is where people show their true character.
If they consistently cross the lines you set, they are showing you that they don’t respect your needs.
Disrespecting boundaries can take many forms.
Maybe you’ve expressed that you need a little space, yet they bombard you with calls and texts, acting as if your time belongs to them.
Or perhaps you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to talk about a certain topic, but they keep pushing until you cave in.
It could be something as simple as saying you don’t like public displays of affection, only for them to continue doing it anyway.
At first, these things may seem small, but over time, they build up and become bigger problems.
A person who disregards your boundaries in the beginning is unlikely to start respecting them later.
Instead, they may try to convince you that your limits are unnecessary or make you feel guilty for having them.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect.
Someone who truly cares about you will listen when you communicate your boundaries and make an effort to respect them.
They won’t make you feel uncomfortable, unheard, or guilty for expressing what you need.
If they keep pushing past the limits you’ve set, it’s a clear sign that they value their own wants over your comfort.
And that’s not the kind of person you want to invest your energy in.
They Only Reach Out When It’s Convenient for Them
A relationship—no matter what stage it’s in—should never feel one-sided.
If the person you’re talking to only contacts you when it suits them, that’s a strong indication that they’re not truly invested.
When someone is genuinely interested, they make an effort to check in, talk, and spend time with you because they want to, not just when they’re bored or lonely.
This red flag often looks like sporadic texting, where they disappear for days and then suddenly message you like nothing happened.
They might only reach out late at night, when they need emotional support, or when their other plans fall through.
Their availability is based on what works for them—not what works for both of you.
It’s frustrating, and over time, it can make you feel like an option rather than a priority.
Someone who truly values you won’t treat you like an afterthought.
They’ll reach out because they genuinely want to hear about your day, spend time with you, and build a meaningful connection.
If you find yourself constantly waiting for them to reach out, wondering when they’ll respond, or feeling like you’re the only one putting in effort, take it as a sign.
You deserve someone who prioritizes you, not someone who only shows up when it’s convenient for them.
You Catch Them in Lies or Half-Truths
Honesty is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and if someone is already lying to you in the talking stage, that’s a serious red flag.
It’s easy to dismiss small lies in the beginning, especially if they seem harmless.
Maybe they tell you they were asleep when, in reality, they were out with friends.
Maybe they claim they’re “too busy” to text back, yet you see them active on social media.
At first, these little half-truths might not seem like a big deal, but they set a dangerous precedent.
If they’re willing to lie about the small things now, what will they lie about later?
Lies in the early stages of getting to know someone often mean they’re hiding something—or worse, they’re used to manipulating situations to their advantage.
They might be talking to multiple people and trying to keep their options open without being honest about it.
Or they might be lying about their past, their intentions, or even their feelings to keep you interested.
One of the biggest signs of dishonesty is when their stories don’t add up.
One day, they tell you one thing, and later, they slip up and say something that contradicts what they originally said.
If you find yourself questioning their words, second-guessing their intentions, or constantly wondering whether they’re telling you the truth, that’s not a good sign.
Trust is earned, and if someone is already making you doubt them before a relationship has even begun, imagine what it would be like later.
Someone who truly values you won’t play games with the truth.
They’ll be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable, because they know trust is the key to something real.
Final Thoughts
The talking stage is where you get to decide whether someone is worth your time and energy.
If you notice red flags early on, don’t ignore them or hope they’ll change with time.
A person who is inconsistent, avoids defining the relationship, disrespects your boundaries, or plays games with the truth is not someone who will bring you peace.
Trust your instincts, set your standards high, and remember that the right person will never make you question where you stand.