Romance scams are more common than ever, with scammers preying on people’s emotions to steal money and personal information.
They create fake identities, build online relationships, and use sweet words to gain trust—all while hiding their true intentions.
Many people fall for these scams because the scammer seems genuine at first.
They know exactly what to say to make you feel special and emotionally connected.
But no matter how convincing they are, there are always ways to expose them.
The key is asking the right questions.
A real person with honest intentions will have no problem answering basic, logical questions about their life.
But a scammer?
They will stumble, change details, or get defensive when questioned.
If you suspect that someone you’re talking to might not be who they claim to be, it’s time to put them to the test.
Here are five types of questions that can help you uncover a romance scammer before they do any damage.
Ask Detailed Questions About Their Background
One of the easiest ways to expose a romance scammer is to ask detailed questions about their background.
Scammers often create fake identities, complete with fabricated life stories, but they rarely think through all the small details.
If you ask specific questions, they will likely struggle to provide consistent answers.
Start with simple questions about their childhood.
Ask about the town they grew up in, the name of their high school, or the street they lived on as a child.
A real person will answer naturally and may even share fond memories.
A scammer, on the other hand, may hesitate, give vague answers, or try to change the subject.
Next, ask about their family.
If they claim to have parents, siblings, or children, press for details.
What are their names?
What do they do for a living?
Where do they currently live?
If they struggle to answer or seem inconsistent, it’s a major red flag.
Another effective trick is to casually bring up a detail from a past conversation and see if they remember it correctly.
For example, if they previously said they had one brother, later ask how many siblings they have and see if the answer matches.
Scammers often juggle multiple victims at once, making it difficult for them to keep their lies straight.
A major giveaway is when they claim to have an elaborate career history but can’t answer basic questions about it.
Ask about specific details of their supposed education, such as their university’s mascot or a well-known professor from their field of study.
A scammer won’t be able to provide convincing answers, while a real person will recall these things effortlessly.
If their answers feel rehearsed, inconsistent, or avoidant, they are likely hiding something.
Question Their Job and Financial Situation
Scammers often claim to have impressive-sounding jobs to build credibility and gain trust.
They may say they work overseas as an engineer, doctor, military officer, or in some other high-paying profession.
This is a tactic to make them seem successful while also justifying why they can’t meet in person.
To expose them, ask detailed questions about their job.
For example, if they claim to be in the military, ask about their rank, the base they are stationed at, or the process they went through to enlist.
A real service member will easily answer these questions, while a scammer may stumble, get defensive, or try to change the subject.
If they claim to be an engineer working on an overseas contract, ask about the company they work for, their specific job responsibilities, and the location of their current project.
Look up the company to see if it even exists.
Many scammers use fake company names or claim to work for real companies but provide details that don’t add up.
Another red flag is when they give vague answers about their salary.
If they claim to make a lot of money but later ask you for financial help, that’s a major sign of a scam.
Ask them about their banking situation—do they have access to their accounts?
Why can’t they use their own funds if they supposedly have a high-paying job?
A legitimate professional won’t suddenly run into mysterious financial issues that require money from someone they just met online.
Scammers also tend to avoid video calls or in-person meetings, often blaming their “busy work schedule.”
A real person will find time to connect, no matter how demanding their job is.
By questioning the legitimacy of their career, you can easily catch a scammer in their own web of lies.
Press for Specific Details About Their Location
One of the easiest ways to catch a romance scammer is by questioning them about where they claim to live.
Scammers often pretend to be from one place but are actually operating from a completely different country.
They might say they are from the U.S., the U.K., or Australia, but their knowledge of their supposed hometown is often weak or completely inaccurate.
Start by asking about local landmarks, popular restaurants, or current events happening in their area.
For example, if they claim to live in New York City, casually ask, “What’s your favorite spot in Central Park?” or “Have you been to Times Square lately?”
A real New Yorker will easily answer, while a scammer might dodge the question or give a generic response.
You can also test their knowledge of the local weather.
Ask them what the temperature is like where they are or if it has rained recently.
Then, check an online weather report for their claimed location.
If their answer doesn’t match up, that’s a red flag.
Another trick is to ask for a photo of something specific near them.
For example, if they claim to be at a coffee shop, ask them to send a quick picture of their drink with the café’s logo in the background.
A real person can do this easily, but a scammer will come up with excuses.
They might say their camera is broken, they’re too busy, or their internet isn’t working properly.
In reality, they’re likely in a completely different place than they claim to be and can’t provide proof.
If they struggle to answer simple location-based questions or always find a way to avoid sending real-time photos, they’re likely hiding something.
Test Their Willingness to Meet in Person or Video Chat
Scammers thrive in the shadows, avoiding direct contact that could expose their true identity.
One of the biggest red flags is when someone refuses to meet in person or video chat, always coming up with reasons why it’s impossible.
A genuine person looking for a real relationship will eventually want to see you face-to-face, whether online or in person.
Start by casually suggesting a video call.
You can say something like, “I’d love to see you in real-time—let’s video chat for a few minutes!”
A real person will usually be excited or at least open to the idea.
A scammer, however, will likely panic.
They may claim their webcam is broken, their internet connection is too weak, or that they feel uncomfortable on camera.
These are all common excuses designed to avoid revealing their true identity.
If they do agree to a video call but the screen is always dark, blurry, or only shows a still image, that’s another sign of deception.
Some scammers even use pre-recorded videos or stolen images to fake their appearance.
If they claim they can’t meet in person because they are “working overseas,” “on a military deployment,” or “stuck in another country,” be cautious.
While these situations do happen in real life, scammers often use them as an excuse to keep you emotionally invested without ever having to prove they exist.
A person who genuinely wants a relationship will find a way to connect with you directly.
If they keep avoiding video calls or real-life meetings, it’s a strong sign that they’re not who they claim to be.
Challenge Them on Their Sudden Emergencies and Money Requests
One of the biggest red flags in a romance scam is when the person suddenly experiences an “emergency” and needs financial help.
Scammers spend weeks or even months building trust, creating a strong emotional connection before introducing a crisis that requires your money.
It might start subtly, with small hints about financial struggles, but eventually, they will make a direct request.
Common scams include claiming they are stranded in a foreign country, needing money for a medical emergency, or saying they lost access to their bank account and just need a “temporary loan.”
If you suspect they are a scammer, challenge their story with logical questions.
For example, if they claim to be in the military and need money for food or medical expenses, ask them why the government isn’t covering these costs.
A real military member does not pay for basic necessities while on duty.
If they say they are an engineer on a work contract overseas and suddenly need financial help, ask them why their supposedly high-paying job can’t cover their expenses.
Ask them why they can’t contact a friend, family member, or employer instead of relying on someone they just met online.
Another way to test their honesty is by offering help that doesn’t involve money.
For example, if they say they need money to book a flight home, tell them you will buy the ticket for them instead of sending cash.
A real person in trouble would appreciate the assistance, but a scammer will insist on receiving money directly.
Scammers rely on emotional manipulation to make you feel guilty, pressured, or even responsible for their “situation.”
But if someone you barely know starts asking for financial favors, it’s time to cut them off.
A real relationship should never come with demands for money, and the moment it does, you know it’s a scam.
Final Thoughts
Romance scammers are skilled at deception, but they always leave clues if you know what to look for.
By asking the right questions and paying attention to inconsistencies, you can expose their lies before they cause damage.
If someone avoids video chats, gives vague answers, or suddenly needs financial help, trust your instincts and walk away.
Protect yourself and remember—real love doesn’t come with secrets, manipulation, or money requests.