Navigating the complex world of modern dating can often feel like walking through a maze without a map. As women with confidence and self-respect, we aim to balance our desire for connection with the poise of an alpha female. We know the importance of not appearing overeager or, as some would bluntly put it, desperate.
In the intricate dance of courtship, there are subtle actions that might send the wrong message, and it’s crucial to be aware of them—not to play games, but to maintain a healthy dynamic from the get-go.
1. You Always Text First
Imagine the scenario: you’ve met someone, and the excitement is palpable. Your phone becomes the bridge between dates, and it’s tempting to cross that bridge frequently. However, if you find yourself always initiating the conversation, always hitting ‘send’ first, it might be time to pause and reflect.
Constantly being the one to start the chat may seem inconsequential at first. After all, you’re just being friendly, right? But in the realm of early dating, this habit can inadvertently paint a picture of eagerness that borders on desperation.
First, let’s break this down. Communication is a two-way street. It’s essential for both parties to show interest, and this is measured not just by the content of conversations, but also by the willingness to initiate them. By always being the one to text first, you’re taking away the opportunity for him to show his interest.
Consider the chase—a concept as old as time. While it’s decidedly old-fashioned and not always to everyone’s taste, there’s an element of human psychology in the thrill of pursuit. And it’s not just about playing hard to get; it’s about giving the other person space to demonstrate their own enthusiasm.
Moreover, by holding back just a tad, you’re also protecting your own heart. It allows you to gauge his level of interest and commitment. Does he reach out when you don’t? Is he thinking about you when you’re not in front of him, prompting a message or a call? These are indicators of his interest that can only be seen when you step back a little.
From a place of self-assurance, we understand that if someone is genuinely interested, we won’t need to constantly wave flares to get their attention. It’s not about being aloof or unavailable; it’s about fostering mutual respect and interest.
2. You Overcommit to Plans
In the realm of courtship, showing enthusiasm for spending time together is one thing, but overcommitting to plans is another. It’s a dance of schedules and interests, and being too available or agreeing to every proposed plan can send signals that you have little going on in your life besides him.
There’s power in having your own schedule, your own commitments, and hobbies that enrich your life. When you’re too quick to cancel plans or you find yourself waiting eagerly for him to suggest any date just so you can say yes, it’s a moment for introspection. Overcommitting can suggest that your life revolves around his availability, which is far from the empowered stance of an alpha woman.
Balance is key. Certainly, be open to exploring new experiences with him, but also ensure that you are prioritizing your own life. A woman who maintains her own schedule and interests is inherently attractive and mysterious; she has depth that extends beyond the relationship. This isn’t about playing games; it’s about the genuine maintenance of your own life’s tapestry that was vibrant long before he arrived.
3. You Agree With Everything He Says
Consensus can be the glue in many successful relationships, but perpetual agreement is not a sign of compatibility; it’s a red flag for inauthenticity. As an alpha woman, you have opinions, preferences, and a unique perspective on life—embrace them. Agreeing with everything he says may seem harmonious in the short term, but it eradicates the essential sparks that individuality brings to a relationship.
Debate and discussion are the spices of conversation. They turn the mundane into an engaging dialogue and lay the groundwork for deeper understanding. By always agreeing with him, you’re not only misrepresenting yourself, but you’re also denying both of you the opportunity to explore each other’s depths.
It’s okay to have differing opinions. In fact, it’s healthy. It shows you’re grounded in your beliefs and values. Of course, this doesn’t mean being contradictory for the sake of it or engaging in conflict over trivial matters. It means being true to your convictions and comfortable in expressing your thoughts.
Men, especially those worth your time, respect a woman who can challenge them and introduce them to new perspectives. It’s not about the thrill of the argument; it’s about the growth that comes from lovingly shared insights.
4. You Constantly Seek His Approval
The pursuit of approval is a slippery slope, especially in the early stages of a relationship. When you’re constantly seeking his nod of acceptance, you may not realize it, but you’re placing the power of your self-worth in his hands—something an alpha woman would never knowingly do.
Your choices, from the dress you wear to the friends you keep, should be a reflection of your identity, not a calculated move to win his favor. Each time you look to him for validation, you chip away at your independence, a quality that is far more attractive than subservience.
Remember, the right person will admire you for who you are, not for how well you conform to their ideals. There is a profound strength in self-assurance, and part of that comes from being secure enough not to need constant reassurance from someone else.
5. You Make Yourself Too Available
Time is a commodity, and how you spend it is indicative of your priorities. If you’re always available whenever he calls or texts, regardless of the hour or how it inconveniences you, you might be sending a signal that you value his time more than your own.
It’s not about playing hard to get; it’s about being hard to forget. And how do you become unforgettable? By having a life that’s rich and full, which sometimes means saying “no” or “not right now.” When you have your own schedule, passions, and obligations, you become more interesting and desirable.
As an alpha woman, your life is not on pause waiting for him to press play. You’re the lead character in your own story, with a plot line that’s compelling and full. While it’s wonderful to share your time with someone, ensure that it’s a privilege for him, not a given. It’s about finding that sweet spot where your availability is a blend of spontaneous generosity and earned reward.
6. You Talk About the Future Prematurely
Discussing the future is a natural and exciting part of any budding relationship, but broaching these topics before the foundation is set can seem premature and, frankly, desperate. An alpha woman knows that while the future is important, building the present moment with someone is the first step toward anything that will last.
When you start planning for a future together too early, it can put undue pressure on the relationship. It’s like placing a weight on a sapling that it’s not yet strong enough to bear. Relationships need time to grow organically, without the stress of expectations about what should happen and when.
There’s wisdom in allowing the conversation about the future to come up naturally and in its own time. It’s not about avoiding the topic, but rather about understanding the right time to delve into it. You’re both still figuring out if your visions align, and that’s not something to be rushed.
Furthermore, when you focus too much on the future, you can miss out on the joys of the present. Relish the now — the process of getting to know each other, the adventures you share, and the memories you’re creating. These are the bricks that build the road ahead, and they’re precious.
7. You Flood His Social Media With Attention
Social media can be a minefield when it comes to relationships. In the digital age, ‘likes’ and comments are often overanalyzed, and while engaging with his social media content shows interest, overdoing it can seem less like genuine interaction and more like desperation.
An alpha woman uses social media as a tool, not a crutch. She understands the importance of leaving a little mystery and the allure of in-person interaction. By inundating his social media with likes, comments, and direct messages, you risk becoming a constant, predictable presence, rather than a pleasant surprise.
It’s about quality over quantity. Be selective with your interactions. Make them meaningful rather than habitual. This not only makes your digital engagement more impactful but also shows that you’re not spending your entire day scrolling through his profiles — you’ve got a life to live.
Moreover, social media should not be the main stage for your relationship. The connections you build offline are infinitely more valuable. Digital gestures should simply be an extension of the interest and affection you show when you’re together in the real world.
So, next time you feel the urge to react to every post or story he shares, pause. Reflect on whether your engagement is adding value or simply adding to the noise. Your presence, both online and offline, should always leave him wanting just a little bit more.