If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist, you know their texts can be a rollercoaster of manipulation, guilt trips, and outright gaslighting.
One minute, they’re showering you with compliments, and the next, they’re making you question reality.
Narcissists use texting as a tool to control, confuse, and keep you emotionally hooked.
They might send messages that make you feel like the bad guy, push your buttons just to get a reaction, or suddenly disappear—only to pop back up like nothing ever happened.
But here’s the good news: you don’t have to fall into their trap.
By recognizing their typical texts and responding with clever, confident comebacks, you can take back your power.
In this article, we’ll break down the most common narcissist texts and show you exactly how to handle them.
The “I Miss You” Text (After Treating You Badly)
One of the most common and manipulative texts a narcissist will send is the classic “I miss you.”
This usually comes after they’ve treated you poorly—ignored your feelings, disrespected your boundaries, or even disappeared on you for days or weeks.
And yet, here they are, popping back up like nothing ever happened, expecting you to welcome them with open arms.
A narcissist doesn’t miss you—they miss the control they had over you.
They miss the attention, validation, and emotional energy you provided.
They don’t miss the connection in the way a healthy person would.
Instead, they miss the power they felt when they knew they could reel you back in whenever they wanted.
This text is meant to trigger your emotions.
They expect you to immediately recall all the good times and forget how they made you feel when they were mistreating you.
But don’t fall for it.
A clever comeback would be: “Oh? What exactly do you miss?”
This forces them to be specific.
Watch how quickly they avoid answering or give a generic response like “I just miss us.”
They won’t be able to name real reasons because their text was never about missing you—it was about getting back in control.
Another powerful response is silence.
Nothing frustrates a narcissist more than realizing they no longer have access to your emotions.
Ignoring their “I miss you” text shows them that you’re no longer falling for their games.
And if they truly cared, their actions would have matched their words long before they had to “miss” you.
The Guilt-Trip Text (“After Everything I’ve Done for You…”)
Another classic narcissist text is the guilt-trip message, often disguised as a reminder of their so-called kindness or sacrifices.
It usually looks something like this:
“After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?”
“Wow. I was always there for you, and this is the thanks I get?”
“No one will ever care about you the way I did.”
The goal of these texts is to make you feel like you owe them something.
A narcissist wants you to feel guilty for setting boundaries, standing up for yourself, or pulling away from their toxic behavior.
They want to remind you of all the times they “helped” you, even if those acts were actually manipulative or conditional.
But here’s the truth: real love and kindness don’t come with a price tag.
If someone genuinely cares, they don’t keep a running list of everything they’ve done for you just to use it as a weapon later.
A smart comeback to this kind of text would be: “I didn’t realize kindness came with a contract. Was I supposed to sign something?”
This highlights the absurdity of their message and calls out their manipulation without getting overly emotional.
Another way to respond is with a neutral, detached reply like: “If that’s how you feel, I respect your perspective.”
This gives them nothing to argue with and prevents them from pulling you into an exhausting back-and-forth.
The best response of all? No response.
The moment you stop engaging with their guilt trips, they lose the power they once had over you.
The Gaslighting Text (“You’re Overreacting”)
Gaslighting is one of the most common tactics a narcissist will use to make you doubt yourself.
When you call them out on their behavior, express hurt feelings, or try to set a boundary, they often respond with dismissive texts like:
“You’re overreacting.”
“You’re being too sensitive.”
“You always make a big deal out of nothing.”
These texts are designed to make you question your own emotions.
A narcissist wants to shift the blame onto you so they don’t have to take responsibility for their actions.
Instead of acknowledging that they hurt you, they twist the situation so that you feel like the problem.
If they can convince you that you’re being unreasonable, they can keep control over the relationship.
But here’s the truth—your feelings are valid.
If something upset you, then it’s worth addressing, no matter how much they try to minimize it.
A clever way to respond to gaslighting texts is to stand firm in your reality.
You can say: “I’m allowed to feel how I feel. You don’t get to decide that for me.”
This makes it clear that you won’t let them dismiss your emotions.
Another effective comeback is: “Just because you don’t see it that way doesn’t mean it isn’t real.”
This response takes away their ability to rewrite the narrative.
They want to control how you perceive things, but by asserting your own truth, you make it harder for them to manipulate you.
Ultimately, the best way to deal with gaslighting is to refuse to engage in their mind games.
If they keep trying to invalidate your emotions, it may be time to rethink whether this is someone you should continue communicating with at all.
The Silent Treatment Followed by a Random Text
One of the most frustrating behaviors a narcissist engages in is the silent treatment.
They disappear without warning, ignoring your calls and messages for hours, days, or even weeks.
Then, just when you’ve stopped waiting for them, they reappear as if nothing happened.
Their text might be completely casual, like:
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Did you see that funny meme I sent?”
“Hope you’re having a great day!”
No apology, no explanation—just a random text as if their absence never happened.
This is a manipulation tactic designed to test your reaction.
They want to see if you’ll respond right away, proving that they can disappear and still have access to you whenever they choose.
The worst thing you can do in this situation is act like everything is fine.
A great comeback to this kind of text is: “Oh, you’re alive? I thought you disappeared for good.”
This immediately puts them on the spot and forces them to acknowledge their behavior.
Another effective response is: “I don’t entertain disappearing acts. Try that with someone else.”
This shows that you’re not willing to be treated as an option.
If they see that their silent treatment no longer affects you, they’ll lose the power they once had.
At the end of the day, the best way to handle a narcissist’s random reappearance is to ignore them completely.
If someone can go days without speaking to you and then come back like nothing happened, they don’t respect you.
And you deserve better than that.
The Fake Apology (“I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”)
A narcissist is not known for taking accountability, so when they do apologize, it’s rarely sincere.
Instead of owning up to their mistakes, they use fake apologies to shift the blame, dismiss your feelings, or make themselves look like the victim.
One of the most common examples is:
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
At first glance, this might seem like an apology, but it’s not.
It’s a way for them to avoid responsibility while making it sound like they care.
They’re not sorry for what they did; they’re sorry that you had a reaction to it.
Other fake apologies might look like this:
“I guess I can’t say anything without you getting upset.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t see why this is such a big deal.”
“I’m sorry if I hurt you, but that wasn’t my intention.”
Notice how none of these take true ownership of their actions.
They use words like if and but to deflect blame and invalidate your feelings.
A clever way to respond to this type of text is to call it out directly.
You can say: “That’s not an apology. An apology takes responsibility, not excuses.”
Another effective response is: “I’d prefer a real apology—one that acknowledges what happened instead of shifting the blame.”
This puts the pressure back on them to take accountability.
However, in most cases, narcissists won’t change.
If they continue sending non-apologies, it’s best to recognize that they aren’t capable of genuine remorse.
And if someone can’t sincerely acknowledge when they’ve hurt you, they don’t deserve a place in your life.
Final Thoughts
Narcissists use texting as a way to manipulate, control, and confuse.
They send messages designed to guilt-trip you, make you doubt yourself, and keep you emotionally hooked.
But once you recognize their patterns, you can stop playing their game.
By responding with confidence—or choosing not to respond at all—you take back your power.
You are not obligated to engage with someone who disrespects you, invalidates your feelings, or refuses to take responsibility.
The best move you can make is to protect your peace, set firm boundaries, and walk away from toxic communication.
Because at the end of the day, you deserve more than empty words from someone who only cares about themselves.