Sometimes, a guy’s actions don’t match his words.
He might act distant one moment and incredibly attentive the next.
He might tease you but avoid getting too close.
He might show all the signs of being interested but never actually say how he feels.
It’s frustrating, confusing, and leaves you wondering—does he like you, or is he just playing games?
The truth is, not all guys are open about their emotions.
Some of them fight their feelings, whether out of fear, past heartbreak, or uncertainty about how you feel.
He may like you more than he’s willing to admit, but something is holding him back.
If you’ve been getting mixed signals from a guy in your life, it’s possible that he’s struggling with his emotions.
He wants to be close to you, but he’s also trying to convince himself that he shouldn’t be.
This internal battle leads to confusing behaviors, and if you know what to look for, you can recognize the signs.
Here are the clear signs he’s fighting his feelings for you.
He Acts Hot and Cold With You
One of the biggest signs a guy is fighting his feelings for you is his inconsistent behavior.
One day, he’s warm, flirty, and engaging.
The next, he’s distant, unreadable, or even seems to be ignoring you.
It’s a frustrating cycle—one moment, he makes you feel like the most important person in the room, and the next, it’s like he’s pulling away on purpose.
This hot-and-cold behavior usually means he’s struggling with emotions he doesn’t want to admit.
When he’s feeling bold, he lets his guard down and allows himself to be drawn to you.
He might text you first, laugh at all your jokes, or go out of his way to make conversation.
But as soon as he realizes how much he enjoys being around you, he panics.
Doubt creeps in.
Maybe he’s afraid of rejection.
Maybe he’s worried about ruining the friendship.
Maybe he has past emotional baggage that makes him hesitant to open up.
Whatever the reason, his response is to pull back.
He might become short with you, avoid eye contact, or take longer to reply to your messages.
This isn’t because he’s lost interest—it’s because he’s trying to convince himself that he doesn’t feel the way he does.
But no matter how much he tries to deny it, his actions will always give him away.
The key thing to look for is the pattern.
If he keeps bouncing between being affectionate and being distant, chances are, he’s dealing with feelings he’s not ready to face.
A guy who isn’t interested doesn’t bother with this back-and-forth behavior.
But a guy who is interested—yet scared of his emotions—will struggle to stay consistent.
He Finds Excuses to Be Around You but Won’t Make a Move
Another major sign that a guy is fighting his feelings is his constant presence in your life—without actually taking things to the next level.
If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t go out of his way to be near you.
But if he does care, and he’s unsure of what to do about it, he’ll create small, seemingly innocent reasons to be around you.
Pay attention to the way he always manages to be in the same place as you.
Does he suddenly appear wherever you are, even when it’s not planned?
Does he conveniently show up at events or gatherings he wouldn’t normally attend?
Does he find silly, unnecessary reasons to text or call you, just to keep the conversation going?
These are signs that he’s drawn to you, even if he won’t admit it.
He might casually ask for your help with something minor, just to have a reason to talk to you.
He might linger in your conversations longer than necessary or find reasons to bump into you throughout the day.
Yet, despite all of this effort to be close to you, he still doesn’t make a move.
Why?
Because deep down, he’s afraid.
Afraid of rejection.
Afraid of ruining what you already have.
Afraid of letting his emotions get the best of him.
So instead, he settles for being near you, hoping that’s enough to satisfy his feelings while avoiding the risk of admitting them.
But the truth is, if he keeps finding ways to be around you, it’s not a coincidence.
It’s his way of staying close, even when he’s too scared to take that final step.
He Gets Jealous but Won’t Admit It
Jealousy is one of the strongest signs that a guy is fighting his feelings for you.
Even if he won’t openly say he likes you, his reactions when you give attention to other guys will reveal the truth.
If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t react at all.
But when he does, his body language, tone, and sudden change in attitude will tell you everything you need to know.
Pay attention to how he acts when you mention another guy, even casually.
Does he suddenly go quiet?
Does he change the subject?
Or does he act dismissive, as if he doesn’t care—yet his mood noticeably shifts?
This kind of behavior is common in guys who are struggling with their emotions.
On one hand, he wants to believe that his feelings for you don’t exist, so he tries to act unbothered.
On the other hand, the thought of you being interested in someone else stings, even if he won’t admit why.
Some guys handle jealousy by making sarcastic comments or teasing you about the other person.
Others may suddenly start talking about another girl, hoping to get a reaction out of you.
This is his way of testing the waters—seeing if you’ll show signs of jealousy too.
If he frequently does this but never actually commits to pursuing another girl, it’s likely because he only wants your attention.
A guy who is genuinely not interested wouldn’t feel the need to act possessive, no matter how close you are.
But a guy who is fighting his emotions will struggle to hide his jealousy.
No matter how much he tries to suppress his feelings, his protective instincts will still surface when he sees you with someone else.
He Opens Up to You but Then Pulls Away
A man who is fighting his feelings will often have moments of vulnerability—only to suddenly retreat as if he regrets sharing too much.
When he likes you, he feels comfortable enough to talk about personal things, open up about his past, and share his thoughts in ways he wouldn’t with just anyone.
But then, after letting his guard down, he panics.
He might go silent for a while, avoid deep conversations, or act distant the next time you see him.
This behavior is a clear sign of emotional conflict.
He wants to connect with you, but his fears, insecurities, or doubts hold him back.
He might worry that opening up too much will make his feelings obvious.
Or maybe he’s afraid of becoming emotionally dependent on you, only to get hurt later.
This is especially common in men who have been hurt in the past.
They have learned to keep their emotions in check, and when they accidentally let those walls down, they feel the need to rebuild them quickly.
If you notice that he shares deep thoughts with you but then withdraws, don’t take it personally.
It’s not that he doesn’t trust you—it’s that he’s battling within himself.
His heart wants to be close to you, but his mind is trying to keep him safe.
And until he resolves that inner conflict, this cycle of opening up and pulling away will likely continue.
He Treats You Differently Than Other Women
One of the biggest signs that a guy is fighting his feelings for you is the way he treats you compared to other women.
Even if he tries to act like you’re just another friend or acquaintance, his behavior will reveal the truth.
He may not even realize he’s doing it, but the differences will be there if you pay close attention.
For starters, he might be more protective over you than he is with other women.
Maybe he subtly steps in when someone makes a rude comment toward you, or he checks in to make sure you got home safely after a night out.
These small gestures show that he cares about your well-being in a way that goes beyond casual friendship.
Another clue is the way he listens to you.
He might remember little details about your life—things you only mentioned once—while barely paying attention when other women talk.
If he recalls your favorite coffee order, a childhood story you shared, or even something random you said weeks ago, it’s a strong sign you matter to him more than he lets on.
His body language around you will also be different.
He may lean in when you talk, mirror your movements, or seem extra aware of your presence.
If he’s naturally flirty with everyone but seems nervous or reserved around you, that’s another indicator that his feelings run deeper than he’s willing to admit.
Some guys try to downplay their emotions by being extra casual or even teasing you more than others.
If he acts indifferent one moment but goes out of his way to impress you the next, he’s likely dealing with an internal struggle about his feelings.
The key is to compare how he interacts with you versus how he treats other women.
If he treats you differently—whether through extra attention, nervousness, or protectiveness—he’s not just being nice.
He’s fighting his emotions, whether he realizes it or not.
Final Thoughts
When a guy is fighting his feelings for you, his actions will always speak louder than his words.
The hot-and-cold behavior, the jealousy, the way he finds reasons to be around you—it all points to emotions he isn’t ready to admit.
If you recognize these signs, it’s likely that he cares more than he’s letting on.
The real question is, will he stop fighting it and finally take the next step?